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Accident Reconstruction Newsletter

Humor

This is why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand - a white-haired, grandmotherly, woman.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Well, Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died! At this point, the judge brought the court room to silence, called both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said,

"If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt."

Return to August 2003 Newsletter


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